Should You Report Your Boss' Relationship at Work?
The recent kiss-cam scandal at a Coldplay concert and the dismissal of a Nestlé executive over his relationship with a female employee have exposed the questionable ethics of romantic relationships in the workplace.
When a boss crosses the line with an office romance, the consequences can shake an entire company to its core. During a Coldplay concert on July 16th, the big screen zoomed in on a couple embracing passionately—until they abruptly separated. One hid her face. The other disappeared from view.
Next to them, a third woman smiled, in what viewers would later describe as "a knowing shock." It might have seemed fleeting, until the internet identified the couple as Andy Byron, CEO of Astronomer, and Kristin Cabot, the company's HR manager—both married, high-ranking, and, quite clearly, overwhelmed.
The clip went viral. Within days, both resigned. What began as an awkward interlude during a concert became a case study in blurring lines, leadership ethics, and the dilemma facing those watching from the sidelines: if you knew, would you report it? And, more importantly, should you? Is it illegal—or just awkward? A romantic relationship in the workplace is anything but new—and doesn't necessarily have to be taboo.
Some relationships even lead to high-profile partnerships, such as those between Barack and Michelle Obama, or Bill and Melinda Gates. But when relationships develop between top executives—especially someone in charge of human resources—the situation changes.
A former employee, Julianne*, described her relationship with a senior colleague from another department as both emotionally taxing and professionally confusing.
"We kept the relationship very discreet," she recalls. "Just to be clear, he wasn't my direct manager, but a director from a completely different department. As far as I know, only two other colleagues knew about it."
Still, tensions arose. "It was sometimes awkward between us. We sometimes didn't speak for days.
But when I approached him for work-related matters, he was always very involved – almost as if he felt guilty and was trying to compensate,” the 31-year-old says.
That's why transparency is so important. In the case of Astronomer, it wasn't just about a CEO's feelings for a colleague, but also about who he was in love with, how the relationship was kept secret, and what it meant for the employees.
When leadership blurs the lines between personal and professional, legal and ethical risks arise, says Clarence Ding, partner and head of employment law for Asia at Ashurst.
"There's generally nothing in the law that prohibits office romances," he explains. "But these relationships carry significant reputational risks... especially when the people involved are executives."
Executives are expected to embody company values, Clarence explains. Their actions shape the company's culture, and scandals at the top can deter both investors and clients.
“A high-profile office romance can also harm the company's profitability,” he adds.
Andy's undisclosed relationship with Chief People Officer Kristin, whether within company policy or not, was a risk.
At best, it raised uncomfortable questions about impartiality and credibility—especially since the two executives, in real time, clearly demonstrated with their immediate reactions that their actions were improper. At worst, it posed real reputational and legal risks to Astronomer as a company.
“Assuming both parties had a serious relationship and the CEO had proactively reported this, the company would have found ways to manage the risk,” Clarence said.
In the case of Nestlé, the dismissal of CEO Laurent Freixe for concealing his romantic relationship with a subordinate led to a drop in stock price and revenue. The company stated that employees had raised concerns about a possible relationship through the internal reporting channel Speak Up, but an initial investigation found no evidence to substantiate the allegations.
According to The Financial Times, Nestlé launched a second investigation with the help of outside lawyers after the complaints continued, which eventually confirmed the allegations.
"This was a necessary decision. Nestlé's values and governance form a strong foundation for our business," Nestlé Chairman Paul Bulcke said in a BBC report.
Whether you're a colleague, a subordinate, or part of a completely different team, here are three tips for assessing the situation without jumping to conclusions—or spreading office gossip.
“There is generally nothing in the law that prohibits office romances, but these relationships carry significant reputational risks… especially when the people involved are executives.”
Clarence Ding, Partner and Head of Employment Law Asia at Ashurst
Start with facts, not feelings
Employees must distinguish between discomfort and visible harm. "There's no clear line between personal privacy and professional misconduct," Clarence emphasizes. "It's about the impact it has on the organization."
The risk isn't always immediately apparent. Clarence points to a range of liabilities: security breaches, perceived cronyism, or conflicts of interest—especially when one partner reviews the other's work—can undermine trust within teams. Therefore, it's crucial to focus on the actual consequences, not on assumptions.
“This helps prevent potential retaliation and ensures a fair process,” adds Sonia Danani, Director of People & Culture, APAC at Pagegroup.
Check your company's policy
Many companies have written policies regarding workplace relationships. Some relationships require openness, especially when a manager is involved. Others are less strict—until something goes wrong.
Julianne worked at a company without formal restrictions. "I don't regret the relationship, but I wouldn't make the same choice again," she says. "Back then, curiosity got the better of me."
Although her relationship didn't end badly, tensions remained.
“For example, my direct manager seemed to get jealous, even though they dismissed it as my 'good people skills,'” she says.
“I always tried to stay out of office politics, but I found myself right in the middle of it.”
When in doubt, contact HR
When a relationship starts to affect team dynamics, it might seem wise to speak up, but that's not always easy. Reporting influential individuals can carry social and professional risks. Therefore, experts say it's important to protect both yourself and the company.
“If there is no clear policy, or you are unsure, it is best to ask HR for clarification confidentially,” says Sonia.
Some companies require disclosure to mitigate risks, such as reallocating reporting lines.
“Especially if it's a romantic relationship where one employee directly or indirectly manages the other… [this] can create a conflict of interest,” she adds.
When senior management is involved, external consultants can conduct research to ensure neutrality. Discretion is essential.
“HR should discreetly gather information about the situation, including the nature of the relationship, how it became public, and the potential impact on the workplace and the company's reputation,” Sonia summarizes.
In short
Whistleblowers can still encounter resistance. If internal systems appear to be compromised, employees in Singapore can contact Workforce Singapore (WSG) and the Tripartite Alliance for Fair and Progressive Employment Practices (TAFEP). These organizations offer confidential support for ethical or power violations.
Not every workplace relationship leads to scandal, but when power dynamics are at play, private choices can have public consequences. Whether or not you speak up, make sure it's a well-considered decision—one that protects both your integrity and your career.
