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Why foreplay is so important

A quickie is great every now and then, but don't forget to stop and smell the sensual roses. It's so easy to get caught up in quickie flings all the time that you forget to slow down and enjoy some quality foreplay before the big climax.

Foreplay doesn't have to mean being physically together; you can start foreplay hours before sex. A hot idea for foreplay might be texting your partner in the morning to let them know what you're doing that evening, building anticipation before you're physically together again.

You can also walk past your partner while they're making dinner and touch their butt, or even put your arms around them and kiss their neck. These simple, intimate gestures can go a long way toward building connection and pleasure before you even get under the sheets.

Let's face it, the most lustful, leg-shaking foreplay is right before sex with hands, lips, tongues, and toys.

That said, many people (especially women who identify as women) don't feel spontaneously in the mood very often. If you feel like you're in a sex slump, you might not be getting enough foreplay, both during sex and in the hours leading up to intimacy. Foreplay is much more important to your sex life, and even your relationship, than you might think.

A lesbian couple laughing in bed, one on top of the other.

1. Foreplay maintains intimacy

Foreplay is crucial not only in the bedroom, but also in your daily life, as it helps you maintain intimacy with your partner. The day after sex, when you think about the night before, you're likely to think more about the touching that preceded sex.

Anyone can insert a penis or finger into a hole and move it back and forth, but what you remember most is the touch that preceded it. You remember them touching you down there while their mouth was on your nipple, or the feeling of their body as they wrapped their arms around you. Or the excitement you felt when your partner pulled out a new fantasy toy from Hankey's Toys and told you how they wanted to use it on you. Touch and intimacy go hand in hand, so touch during foreplay will maintain your intimacy with your partner.

2. Foreplay sets the mood

This could be a time for you to play and talk with each other, so you both know what mood you're both in. There are many different sexual moods: romantic, fast, slow, rough sex, kinky sex, and many more. Suppose you're in the mood for romantic sex that's slow and intimate, but your partner shows signs that they're more into rough and hard sex.

This is your chance to say something like, "I'd really like it if you made love to me tonight" or "I want you to fuck me slow and hard tonight." This way, you're letting your partner know you're not in the mood for rough sex, but that you still want them. Use the opportunity during foreplay to set the mood together, so you're both on the same page when the thrusting begins.

A couple laying in bed and cuddling as aftercare.

3. Foreplay provides lubrication for women

If you've ever had something dry in your dry vagina, you know the pain is real. Vaginal dryness doesn't make for the best sex for either party. Dry sex can cause tears in the vaginal tissues and can even cause swelling after sex.

A penis can get a friction burn similar to a carpet burn after dry sex, requiring neither of you to have sex for a few days until you both heal.

While flavored lubricant is definitely a fun way to spice up foreplay, it's important to make sure your partner is truly ready. Enjoying foreplay helps a woman become aroused and naturally wet, so that when you finally insert the cock or toy, it's already wet and inviting for both parties. With the right lubrication, you can enjoy sex every day if you so desire, without having to worry about your most intimate parts getting sore or torn.

Foreplay is also crucial in preparing for anal—trust us! The best way to avoid the pain of anal sex is to get and stay as aroused as possible.

4. Foreplay leads to better orgasms

Have you ever masturbated and gotten really close to orgasm, but weren't ready to let it happen, so you stopped, and when the feeling passed, you continued masturbating, and when you finally let yourself go, you sent orgasm waves through your whole body?

You teased yourself with foreplay to keep yourself on the edge as long as possible, until you had to let go of your orgasm because you simply couldn't hold it back any longer. The same thing happens when you're in bed with your partner. Foreplay allows you both to get as close to orgasm as possible without actually letting go, causing your orgasm to build and build until you finally have sex. That pushes your orgasm over, making it stronger and sometimes even longer.

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A lesbian couple in lingerie, cuddling in bed.

Sometimes it's worth slowing down for a moment to savor the delicacy that is your partner and get lost in the moment instead of having a quick two-minute sex that you may or may not enjoy.

So, teasingly text your partner throughout the day, slap their ass or grab their crotch as you walk by, and before bed, use the power of touch to bring you both as close to orgasm as possible without actually climaxing. You might just experience the most rollicking, trembling orgasm of your life.

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