"I don't know why or how, but since the pandemic, my libido has taken a huge hit. I used to really enjoy sex with my husband, even after the birth of our daughter. Of course, many mothers experience a decreased libido after giving birth, but I, on the other hand, couldn't wait to share the sheets with my husband. But since the pandemic, my libido has plummeted.

Maybe it's because we were together 24/7 for almost a year and had a nice, relaxed routine, without weekly date nights or romantic candlelit dinners.

I'll be honest: I can easily go months without sex now.

First of all, I'm all about the quality of sex, not the quantity. And thankfully, my husband and I have fantastic, amazing sex, even if it's only once every few months, as is the case now.

But here's the biggest problem: we really want a second child. And we've been trying for almost a year now, on and off. Some months it worked, other months I just didn't feel like it or I forgot to take my ovulation tests. I don't want having a second child to become an obligation. Of course, you have to plan for a baby. But right now, while I'm so desperate to get pregnant (and I cry every time I get my period), sex is mentally and physically exhausting.

I don't want to see sex with my husband, whom I love dearly, as an obligation. My husband and I are still madly in love and would do anything for each other. Our relationship is fantastic right now. In fact, we're happier than ever since we've been together. We laugh and have fun from morning to night. But the sex... it's practically nonexistent.

I know there are people who think you don't have to plan sex with your partner.

But believe me, when you're both working, running errands, tackling chores, and caring for a busy toddler and two dogs, you have to do everything you can to have intimate moments with your partner. And for me, that means planning. If I schedule my day around my husband and I trying to conceive, my worries disappear the moment we're in bed.

I'm relaxed and happy, and the passion is back, as is my libido. Maybe it's because I still vividly remember that wonderful and passionate evening when our daughter was conceived that I set the bar too high. Or maybe it's because we have to take care of our daughter, and creating the right "mood" after a hard day at work or with the kids can be difficult. I honestly don't know.

What I do know is that I want another baby so badly that it hurts, but most days I don't feel like it.

I know, that makes it difficult to get pregnant at all. I think if I stop focusing on how much I want to get pregnant and stop seeing sex solely as something for that purpose, it might help me get my sex drive back.

First of all, I used to love sex, just for the sake of it. I think my problem is that I put too much emphasis on what sex means. While I can enjoy it at the time, afterward all I can think is, "Am I pregnant?" I think that put too much pressure on me and created a kind of bubble that's hard to escape. I shouldn't be thinking about having a baby all the time. I should be in the moment with my husband and enjoying sex. I hope that time comes back soon.