No matter how strong your marriage is, how much you love your partner, or how content you feel 99% of the time, there will be days when you want to shake things up in the bedroom. Sometimes, the thought of the same old, familiar positions just isn't enough to get things going. Sometimes you just feel like surprising your loved one with a few new tricks.
But listen, we're all busy moms who know that feeling of being full of good intentions for sex in the morning, but completely exhausted by the time it's time for bed. On those days, you don't necessarily have the energy to go all out, so new sex positions are a godsend.
Trying new sex positions can be super exciting for both partners, but it doesn't necessarily have to require more effort than the usual positions. And trust us, there are endless positions to try. We're no experts, though, so we asked sex expert Aliyah Moore of SexualAlpha.com for her favorite sex positions for more intimacy (and pleasure!). Here, she shares everything you need to know about the desert island sex position. No, we'd never heard of it either, but now that we have, it's definitely going into our repertoire.
What is it exactly?
In the "Desert Island" sex position, the woman rises onto her toes and bends her knees to lower herself onto her partner, who kneels behind her. Alternatively, the female partner can kneel on a chair, gripping the backrest with her hands and trying to keep her upper body as straight as possible.
This pose differs from other positions in its physical dynamics, as both partners must maintain their balance and use their coordination. It's also an excellent way to connect intimately, as it combines close physical contact with deep penetration, which can strengthen the emotional bond between partners.
Execution
The female partner begins by crouching on her toes and slowly lowering herself onto her partner. She uses her hands only to maintain her balance and maintain the correct sitting position.
The male partner kneels directly behind the woman, with his hands on her hips for support. Once both partners are in position, the man penetrates his lover.
The man moves back and forth while the woman moves her hips up and down, pressing herself against her partner. This stimulates her and brings both partners to a more intense, orgasmic state.
Advantages
Deep Penetration: This position allows you to go very deep, which may sound strange, but remember that the goal is to stimulate the nerves in the vagina and give you both pleasure.
Clitoral stimulation: The up and down motion can indirectly stimulate the clitoris, which is very important for some women to achieve an orgasm.
Muscle activation : Balancing on the balls of your feet, squatting, and springing activates the muscles of your thighs, glutes, and pelvic floor. These muscles are strengthened in various positions, improving their endurance and muscle tone.
Increased Intimacy : The partner's body becomes the place to enjoy this closeness, while their eyes contribute to this connection during sex.
Mutual satisfaction : The synchronous stimulation of both partners' erogenous zones can lead to a feeling of deep mutual satisfaction and intimacy.
Communication and Trust : Being on a desert island provides an adrenaline rush and leads to better relationships based on trust and mutual understanding, which can heighten emotions between partners.
Sex toys you can use
Vibrating cock rings : The rings can be worn by the male partner, providing additional stimulation to the clitoris and penis during penetration. Vibration stimulation has a unique way of enhancing pleasure for both partners and can therefore intensify orgasms for both partners.
Bullet vibrators : These small, discreet vibrators can be used to stimulate the clitoris in women in late-stage pregnancy, when the belly can hinder intimate contact. The male partner can hold the bullet vibrator against her clitoris or other erogenous zones to heighten arousal and pleasure.
Anal plug : An anal plug can add an extra dimension of pleasure and stimulation to the desert island position and can be especially helpful for couples who want to explore the different facets of anal play. The anal plug can be used by the female partner during penetration to enhance sensations and pleasure by stimulating the nerve endings in the anus.
Safety
Communication : Open and honest communication between partners is absolutely crucial when trying a new sexual position. Discuss what feels comfortable for you, what you like and don't like, and set boundaries if necessary.
Physical limitations: Please be aware that any physical limitations or health conditions may affect your ability to perform this position. People with knee, hip, or back problems may have difficulty or find it painful to squat or kneel.
Balance and stability : The "desert island" concept assumes that both partners, and especially the female partner, are inclined to balance and stability in the position. Make sure you maintain good balance so you don't fall. Use pillows or furniture for support if necessary.
Penetration depth : Pay attention to the depth of penetration so it doesn't cause pain or discomfort. Make your partner feel comfortable (and steal the show) by approaching penetration in a way that's equally pleasurable for both of you. Don't go too fast, but adjust gradually, and eventually you'll find the right pace and depth.
Safe sex : Safe sex means using condoms or other barriers to prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies. Also, make sure you clean and disinfect sex toys before and after use.
Lubricant: While it may seem obvious, a good lubricant is essential for a comfortable and enjoyable experience, especially during penetration. Water- or silicone-based lubricants are recommended for less friction and enhanced sensation. Reapply lubricant as needed.
Be aware of your surroundings: Be aware of your location and surroundings, and only have sex in a comfortable and safe environment. Make sure there are no sharp objects or hazards nearby, so no one is in danger during the "Desert Island" position.
More tips
Experiment: The desert island sex position is great, but sometimes you have to experiment with variations to find the ones that work best for you and your partner. There are countless positions you can try, such as adjusting the angle of entry, varying the depth of penetration, squatting, and so on, which can increase pleasure and satisfaction.
Breathing and relaxation : Focus on deep breathing and relax thoroughly during the "Desert Island" position. A good sensual massage beforehand can help you relax, enhance pleasure, and relieve tension, allowing you to fully enjoy this sex position.
Foreplay : Take your time with foreplay before trying the Desert Island position. This increases arousal and makes it more intense. Foreplay can include caressing, kissing, and oral sex.
Posture and alignment : Pay attention to your posture and body alignment in the desert island sex position by avoiding positions that feel uncomfortable or tense. Make sure to keep your back straight and engage your abdominal muscles to maintain a natural body position.
Afterward : After the "Desert Island" position, take some time for aftercare so you can reconnect with your partner. Through the familiar embrace, verbal communication, and constant acknowledgment of each other's happiness, you can strengthen the emotional intimacy and satisfaction in your relationship.
Feedback : Give your partner feedback before and after the experience, focusing on communication and ways to improve and enhance your sex life. Share what you enjoyed and offer suggestions for improvement so everyone is satisfied.
