How do you know if that nice new guy really likes you, or is mostly interested in your appearance and sex?

New love is exciting. Those first messages, endless conversations, butterflies in your stomach and, of course, the question: could this actually turn into something serious? But sometimes it can be difficult to figure out what someone truly wants from you.

I’m Simone from Happytoys and I believe sex should be a whole lot of fun. But it’s just as important that you feel seen, valued, and respected. Because you are, of course, much more than your appearance or your body.

That is why I’ve listed a few signs that may indicate someone is primarily interested in the physical side of things.

He is mainly focused on your appearance

A compliment about your appearance is, of course, very nice. Who doesn't like to hear that they look beautiful or sexy?

But if literally every conversation eventually ends up being about your looks, body, or lingerie, that can be a sign.

He sees more than just your looks

Someone who is genuinely interested in you usually wants to know who you are, too. What do you find funny? What are you enthusiastic about? What are your dreams? How was your day?

A compliment on your looks is nice, but a compliment about your humor, personality, or character can be at least as valuable.

You never actually meet up anywhere else

Are your regular hangouts always at your place or his?

That doesn't necessarily have to mean anything on its own. Some people just love being at home together. But when he never suggests doing something together, that can be an indication that he’s mainly there for the physical contact.

A real date doesn't have to be complicated at all

Getting coffee together, going for a walk, going out to dinner, to the movies, or just grabbing a drink somewhere. It’s not about what you do, but that he also wants to spend time with you outside of the bedroom.

Because if he really likes you, he probably also wants to discover how much fun you have together when there is no sexual tension involved at all.

Every conversation eventually becomes sexual

A little flirting? Wonderful.

A naughty text message every now and then? Nothing wrong with that either. 😉

But when every conversation turns back to sex within a few minutes, while you are actually trying to talk about something else, it might be good to ask yourself why.

Can you also just talk?

A healthy attraction can go perfectly well with good conversations. It is precisely that combination that makes a new relationship so fun.

Can you laugh together, talk about work, vacations, family, hobbies, and your plans for the future? That’s when you really get to know each other.

You don't actually know his friends at all

Does he talk about his friends regularly, but you have never met anyone?

This also doesn't automatically have to be a red flag. Perhaps the relationship is still very new or he just likes to keep his private life separate.

But when he structurally remains mysterious about his life, never introduces you to friends or family, and you really only know his bedroom and his house, it might be wise to pay closer attention.

You are allowed to be curious about his life

A new relationship is about two people getting to know each other better and better. So it is very normal that after a while, you become curious about his friends, family, hobbies, and daily life.

And of course, the same applies in reverse: he should also be interested in your life.

He hardly asks any questions about you

Personally, I think this might be one of the clearest signs.

Does he know how your day was?

Does he know what you find important? How things are going at work? What makes you happy? What you’re worried about?

Or does the conversation consist mainly of him talking about himself and then returning to sex?

Someone who is genuinely interested doesn't need to conduct an extensive interview with you every day, of course. But genuine curiosity is important.

Sex is nice, but interest goes further

At Happytoys, we are obviously huge fans of pleasure, excitement, and discovery. Sex can be a wonderful part of a relationship. But it’s even better when there is also trust, attraction, humor, attention, and genuine interest.

Ask yourself how you feel

Perhaps that is ultimately the most important question.

Do you feel valued? Do you feel comfortable with him? Can you be yourself? Does he listen to you? Is there room for your wishes and boundaries?

If the answer is often "no," then that is something to take seriously.

And what if he IS interested in your body?

Then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! 😉

You are allowed to find each other attractive. You are allowed to flirt, give each other compliments, and enjoy sex. One doesn’t have to exclude the other at all.

It’s about the balance

The best relationships often have a combination of attraction and genuine interest.

So yes: he can think your body is beautiful. But hopefully, he finds your humor, personality, dreams, and quirks at least as interesting.

My advice as Simone from Happytoys

My most important advice? Listen to your gut.

You don't have to write someone off immediately because he gave you a compliment only about your looks once or because you happen to meet at home often. Look primarily at the big picture and at how someone behaves over a longer period of time.

And remember: you never have to settle for someone who is only interested in one side of you.

You are more than your body. You are you. ❤️

And if that person sees that too, and you can both enjoy intimacy together? Then, as far as I'm concerned, you've got a much better combination.

Love,

Simone
Happytoys – better Happy than Easy